april: leavings/endings/beginnings
4/13/24
trees whispering thundering swelling
time walks along the path it is
moments existing as independent
postcards flipping through a view master
i am here
feet on the ground, roots planted deep
rib cage inhales and exhales in this moment
how does one exist in a space they will leave
but isn't everything liminal
every moment will be left for another
every person will become another
change is an unfolding
and it is terrifyingly beautiful
as things die and grow
and we consume it all
ravaging mouths and eyes
pulled as wide as possible
merely to let it all in before it leaves
before you blink and the slide flips to the next
slow it down
breathe deeper
bones reaching into the dirt
hold each other close and tight
savor what is old and familiar
before the farewells usher in the new
the slide is flipping
tree giants shifting into difference
college and people and cities
the peripheral still will hold the trees
the quiet and the birds
bonfires under the stars
let it enter you
fill you
change you
you hold every moment within you
as each one molds you
leavings
sweet goodbyes
sweet coming homes
pieces of myself
scattered through friends
through trees and trails
4/16/24
rain is lovely
4/24/24
there's so many swans
trumpeting as they fly
the moon was so bright last night
sleeping under the clouds
as they shifted and gave way to stars
4/26/24
postage stamps leftover
from all the letters i didn't get to
film exposures
still in my camera
of light filtering through a forest
examen
your heart your soul your year
who were you and who have you become
it is an unfolding
i think i've softened
grace is a word often in my mind
i breathe deeper and sit heavier
plant yourself
i've been here
among the trees and birds and quiet whisperings
among close friends and laughter and fire and honesty
change has always been something i embrace
whether it was a way to cope or escape or have control i don't know
maybe it's just who i am
but now i think
that it's okay for change to be hard
and leavings to be sad
and i don't always have to lean forward
i can sit still
and remember and slow and breathe
and hold all the good and the bad in its confusing tension
and be thankful and yet sorrowful for the ending
of a good thing
all is well and all is well and all manner of things shall be well
4/27/24
it rained when we left
